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On Married Women.

October 9, 2010

When women get married, do they just become stank? Seriously. I need to know. Perhaps it’s just the married women who have waited all their lives to be a wife who do this. I have some married friends who are not like this….they’re mostly older though. My younger friends who are married have disappeared from the face of the earth. Literally. But I don’t understand why.

But let’s discuss my most recent run-in with a married woman.

At my dad’s church. There’s this woman. She’s cute. Has three kids. Had two, but got preggers again. She’s prob early 30s. I think she’s adorable. I’d love nothing more than to have tea with her and discuss how she manages to take care of 3 babies and run a household. I’m intrigued.

Enter her husband. He has an eye problem. He does not know that if he is with his wife (or in church for that matter) he needs to flip the switch on the wandering eyes. I met him before her. I did not know he was married, engaged or with children. He never mentioned any of the above or acted as any of the above were factors in his life. So I smile, say hello, engage in small talk. The end.

One day, I’m small talking with him and SHE comes over  and introduces herself as his wife. Fine. How do you do lovely lady….nice to meet you. No reply. In fact, I have been to this church more than a dozen times afterwards and spoke to her at least twice each time only to get no hello back. What the hell. My honey even came to church with me and I presented him to her mother-in-law (who I love and who loves me) in front of her as a peace offering like look lady….I have a him person…I am not worried about your husband, I promise. I do not roll like that. So I thought surely after that we’d be besties. No bueno. I mean I literally stand right in her face and say hello and she will whip her head the other way.

Dude. It’s not that serious. How are you going to act so stank in the house of the Lord? I suppose she thinks I was pushing up on her husband but like seriously…isn’t that a matter you take up with your husband and not me? Get a grip. I am not tacky…I do not push up on men when I’m trying to get my praise on. Amen.

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