On bubble baths, puppies and itchy skin…

I apologize for lacking the creativity to come up with a real title. And I apologize in advance for the upcoming typos…I’m not proofreading this….I refuse.

Start judging me now.

I’m taking a bubble bath. Yes, it’s true I’m currently luxuriating in a bath tub filled with this cheap ass bubble bath I scored from my mom’s house. I literally had to pour half of the 25 fl oz container into the tub to get the five bubbles I see floating around in here. And it makes me itch. This is my second time using it, yes the bottle is gone now…your math is correct. The first time I thought I was going to scratch my skin off, but even itching did not stop me from enjoying my time in the water. Itching didn’t stop me then and it won’t stop me today.

While describing my bubble bath routine to a friend, I realized that I may have issues. I grab my laptop (because if I’m away from it, I’ll miss something exciting), carefully wipe off the sink to ensure that there’s no water or leftover toothpaste or random man hairs hanging out (yes love, it is I who wipes the hairs away that you leave dancing on the sink after you shave, it’s not the magic cleaning fairies). I check the faucet to make sure there’s no water coming out. Then, I ever so gently sit my laptop on the edge of the sink. I run my water….all hot water. Two birds…one stone…gotta release the toxins. Then I find Winston, who is usually chilling in the office, laying on the bottom shelf of the bookcase all snuggled on a toy. I tell him “bathroom” he runs in and curls up on the floor. I grab his water bowl, I grab a treat (sometimes) and at least one toy. You see, there’s something wrong about locking my darling puppy out of the bathroom if he and I are the only two home. I feel bad and start thinking he must be lonely out there without me. So I let him in and lock the door behind us.

Yes I shut and lock the door for bubble baths because I don’t need HIM* coming in the house, realizing I’m in the bath tub and then saying, “Ohhhh look at you..you’re naked” and then proceeding to violate my body while I’m trying to enjoy the water without being fondled.

Anyway, he’s such a good puppy…he just cuddles on the floor and sleeps or he’ll squeak his toy about for a little. Today though, he decided that it’d be a good idea to stand on his back legs and put his paws up on the side of the tub. He knows better that to be a disturbance while I’m luxuriating, so I’m not entirely sure what got into him.

*him = the honey